New life is about to begin

My closest friends would clearly tell you what my dream as a dentist is and how I’ve been working so hard for that dream. To be an ORTHODONTIST. Well, it means I have to be accepted as a graduate student of orthodontic program in the dental school. And they know too that I wouldn’t even try for the 2nd best although I failed in Universitas Indonesia last year. I always think that UI is the best regardless the gossips and intrigues I’ve heard before. I was graduated from UI’s dental school which is considered as the best University in Indonesia, and I just read a news that it’s actually the only University in Indonesia that is included in World’s 300 Top Universities. So, even though the competition’s considered to be the most difficult among the other public university in Indonesia (even more for its orthodontic program), I didn’t have any slight thought to enroll myself to another place. Call me crazy (some pessimistic opinions outside my circle), but for me it’s UI Orthodontic Graduate Program or not at all (stay as GP).

I remember how hard it was to gain the spirit back after failing the test last year. I mean, I actually don’t know in which part I failed, the only thing I know I didn’t make it to secure a seat in the class of 2011. But then I kept telling myself to do my very best for this year, see if GOD really want me to be there, and if not then this was my last attempt. If I didn’t make it again, I’d seriously define myself as a GP forever and be really good at it.

There were 4 days of tests and today is the official announcement of the result. And I-Did-It!! I didn’t expect as much as I did last year (coz I know I’d be good whatever the result is, and yea.. I’m pretty sure that He got a better plan than mine anyway)… but yeaaahh… I make it for this year!! Yaayy.. of course I’m so so so happy for that. And I thank HIM very much for the spirit, the supports from the beloved ones surround me during all of the preparation, for the last amazing 1 year that make me to be a better and more confident person I am now.

Per Angusta Ad Augusta

Through Trial to Triumph

 

Sunday morning has always been my time to go to the church after coming back home from my working trip. So, I kneeled in the church this morning to thank Him for everything. And it was like a flash back movie playing in my mind, remembering how miserable I was, kneeling in the same place last year. There was time that I came to the church almost everyday, to have a very private moment with God, cried myself mainly for my relationship problems and search for the inner peace which obviously didn’t come easily. But now I look back at those experiences, the lost I had last year, and be endlessly grateful seeing His amazing, unexpected and beautiful works on my life :’)

So… thank You GOD a bunch!!!!

 

Laurensia Limas, DDS – Graduate student of 2012 Orthodontic Residency Program, Universitas Indonesia 😀

Go the Distance (from the movie ‘Hercules’)

a whole week to Go the Distance 🙂

I have often dreamed of a far off place
Where a hero’s welcome, would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying, this is where I’m meant to be
 

I’ll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong
I know every mile, will be worth my while
When I go the distance, I’ll be right where I belong
 

Down an unknown road to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I’ll see it through
 

And I won’t look back, I can go the distance
And I’ll stay on track, no, I won’t accept defeat
It’s an uphill slope, but I won’t lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete
 

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero’s strength is measured by his heart
 

Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its harms
I don’t care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my hero’s welcome, waiting in your arms

I will search the world, I will face its harms
Till I find my hero’s welcome, waiting in your arms
 

Read more: MICHAEL BOLTON – GO THE DISTANCE LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/go-the-distance-lyrics-michael-bolton.html#ixzz206UhZaPZ
Copied from MetroLyrics.com

 

Indomie Seleraku

Nearly everybody knows that I’ve gained quite a few weight since I started to work for ISOS last year. And even though I’m no longer staying in the mining site (which food can be considered 5 stars), I still haven’t managed to lose any pound in Jakarta.

So this past 2 months, I’m trying my best to put myself into a healthy life style of regular exercising and healthy diet. I tried to cut “simple carbs” off from my diet, e.g rice and instant noodles. Instead I have oats or wheat bread for the carbs portion in my dish. We, Indonesians, live with rice ever since we were able to take solid food. And surprisingly, I’m not craving for rice that much.

BUT, just this afternoon, I found myself enjoying the most tastiest instant noodle on earth. Yes… Indomie. Aaarrgghh..!! So this is the one that ruin my diet… :p

Image

*this was the exact variant I just had -_-

Some words popped out from the thought of instability..

The past few days, I’ve been involved in quite a few discussions with a friend about how more or less we’re put in kinda same situation of instability, esp when we’re looking outside the window of our friends getting themselves settled in whatever way you can think about (school, job, career, partnership, etc). There’s a sort of insecure feeling that we both feel whenever we’re thinking of our present stage of life.

Well, classically speaking, GOD has His own time to make things beautiful, and what He asks from us is just to wait patiently. Heard that many times, Tried to keep that thought as much as possible. But still I’m just a weak 😦

Few random thoughts came into my mind this morning and the point of me sharing them here is not because I’m stronger or wiser now. I’m actually trying to hypnotize myself, to keep control over my worries. So here they are

Some people are just born with easy life to live. They’re born in rich family, sent to the best school their parents can afford, have the intelligence they need to get good grades at school, get the scholarships, graduate, get good jobs, afford their annual super fun vacations, settle down with loving partner and adorable kids, well..you name it, all the dreamy life we all want to have. I’ve been told that EVERY single person in this world has his/her own struggle and drama regardless how beautiful his/her life seems to be. I’ve also read some biographies of success people who gain success after horrible times in their life. The common thing those people possess is the big faith. Faith in God (religiously speaking) and faith in themselves.

So I am now speaking to myself (and just shared it to my friend) that “IF I have to wait for HIS perfect timing, I am the ONE who’s responsible to make the waiting time ENJOYable and WORTHwhile.”

This too will pass 🙂

If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen anyway…

There are many things I was and am always worrying about. But I’m trying to keep that sentence in my mind. God really has a great plan for our life. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen anyway… No matter how long we should wait. Regardless how far the distace we should walk, how much effort we’re taking. He’ll make it happen if it is HIS beautiful plan. On contrary hand, it won’t happen regardless how hard we beg HIM for things to be happen as our wish, if He actually is preparing something that is way more beautiful for us.

The only thing He ask from us is just to wait patiently. And that’s the damn hardest thing to do, at least for me. 😦

So here are the things I’m doing right now:

  • Never stop praying for my plan, yet surrender myself to HIS arrangement.
  • Do my best, give my best effort regardless what future may bring.
  • Live my life to the fullest, enjoying every happiness and every sadness

And here’s a song that keeps playing in my head these days… some of the sentences ring a bell every time I hear  and listen to them (put them in bold).

“A Thousand Years”

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I’m afraid to fall

But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What’s standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

And here’s the youtube link:

Mum’s thingy

It was actually 2 days ago that I had this thought. I always know that it’s not easy at all to be a mum. But when I visited a friend who just gave her premature baby boy birth 3 days ago due to pre-eclamsia during pregnancy, then I truly know that being-mommy stuff was a big deal. She suffered during her last few months of pregnancy of hypertension, malaise, almost zero energy, etc. And when I visited her, she hasn’t even met her 1,7 kgs baby (which was very small, and the baby’s still taken care in an incubator in the special care unit).

When I shared this to another friend who happen to be a 9 months year old baby girl mum, she said yes it wasn’t easy at all. She was dealing with her baby’s prediction of having Down syndrome in a certain month of her pregnancy and the doctor even suggested her to terminate the pregnancy. But she did believe that prayers would bring miracle. And yeah, she gave birth a healthy beautiful baby girl. So she told me, every mum, every parents have to be ready to face such various problems. And she believed that my first friend would be doing well this time.

And, back to me…

My parent’s have been going for a 3D/2N retreat held by the church. My sick grandpa’s staying with us. So it has to be me playing mum’s role in the house as she’s away. Grandpa’s suffering stomachache since last week (we took him to see an internal medicine on monday).

Well.. anyway.. I was the one doing the cooking stuff today. It run quite well I believe until this afternoon Grandpa complained more ache in his stomach which I guessed because he had late lunch (he was asleep on lunch time, that supposed to be 12). Just a little bit down when he said that the steamed rice was not soft enough. Luckily he said nothing about the omelet and the steamed chicken livers. I don’t know he didn’t complain about them or it was me hurrying myself to my room writing this so that I didn’t listen.

So..

The bottom line is it’s not easy to be a mum at all. After all the sufferings.. doing housing jobs as well as possible, still there’s a possibility of being complained by the other members of the family. So I guess, we do really have to appreciate every little thing that mum’s doing everyday and stop complaining.

 

PS (to my mum)

I love you so much Mum… enjoy your retreat! I’d really love to say come back soon, but I know you need such short getaway as well. So, no complaint here… 🙂

This Easter – 2012

This season might be the weirdest Easter ever since we’re not going to the church together and Mom even doesn’t go to the church at all.

This is all because Grandpa has been hospitalized since Sunday Palm. I just came back from Newmont on Saturday, and I was waken up on very early sunday morning with a phone call from uncle telling us Grandpa’s having bad diarrhea since saturday night. So we decided to take him to the hospital.

By that, we has been going to the hospital everyday to keep him company.

This is not the best easter season after all. This season was filled by sorrow, arguments and so many other emotional problems. But here, I’m not going to talk about the bad sides of Opa’s being hospitalized.

I saw that this is HIS good plan of gathering us together as a family. I’ve never had chance to serve Opa before. We were close when i was still a very little girl. I remember I spent quite a number of nights with my grandparents as both of my parents were working at that time. Quite often too, they take me for vacation out of town. But as i’m growing up, we’re not that close anymore. My family live quite far from them, about 30mins driving (without traffic jam), so we used to visit them once in every 2 weeks.

As far as I know, grandpa was a stubborn and dominant old man. When he was healthy, it was quite hard to communicate with him as most of the time he had his own way of thinking that couldn’t be disrupted by others.

During his first days staying in the hospital, we were quite frustrated due to his physical condition (of having blood in his stool, nausea, vomiting desire, dizziness, low hemoglobin rate, chronic kidney disease, etc) as well as his psychological condition (he protested to GOD for why did He give this sickness to him). Not only with him, as we all wanted the best for Grandpa, we often involved in unnecessary arguments among us.

But these few days, things are getting better. Physically I can see grandpa’s getting healthier (although i have to say that he’s having a slow healing process). And most of all, he’s happier now. We often see him laughing and he become a warm grandpa as I used to remember when I was a kid. And honestly, this really touched my heart every time I devoted myself to serve him, putting his socks on, feeding him, sitting on his bed listening to his stories, helping him when he wants to go to the toilet, carrying the IV fluid and getting it right in the toilet or beside his bed. Those every small things really touched my heart.

This easter season, we spent most of our time in the hospital. But one thing I know now, GOD made it happen for a reason. Through his sickness, grandpa’s opening his heart way better than weeks before. Through his sickness, we have all the chances to do good to him, serve him (as when he’s healthy we don’t have such chance), and share more personal talks with him. He’s now way better in accepting his condition of having diseases as well as aging process.

Most of all, on this season, HE made me understand more about faith, love and forgiveness. Easter has really been a true celebration of Love for our family.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him, should not perush, but have everlasting life..”

Jesus gave the model of serving each other on Holy Thursday (during HIS last supper) and He gave us the chance to prove it as His followers. Jesus gave the model of being surrender to Father when we’re suffering  and taught us to forgive those who trespass against us on Good Friday, He challenged us to accept this sorrow faithfully and forgive all the arguments. And as Jesus raised from the death on Easter, we were blessed to celebrate it by seeing good progress of grandpa’s condition (esp for he’s gaining his spirit back) and being able to feel the warmth of loving each other as one family.

 

Happy Easter folks 🙂

Mom’s 57th Birthday (March 11, 2012)

Today is Mom’s birthday…

I started the day by going to the church with both of my parents for the sunday morning service. Both of my parents joined the mass as the communion ministers. So they sat in the 1st row and I sat few rows behind. There’s a moment when the priest and the ministers came into the church in the introduction part, I felt some kind of pride to have both of my parents there, healthily serving God. It was years ago when I was a teenager, I served as an altar girl with my sister, and I can imagine how proud my parents were, seeing their daughter serving GOD like that. And now, it’s their turn… 😀

According to Grandma’s current condition (she fell from the bed and got one of her ribs broken), it wasn’t possible for us to go out having a big family lunch as usual. So we just bought boxes of Bangka noodles and brought it to uncle’s house where grandma’s staying. In my imagination, it should be a humble descent gathering we would have there. I was just a little bit surprised that grandma’s sickness likely threw away the joy of celebrating mom’s birthday. She’s a little bit more sensitive due to her condition, sometimes keep saying that she’s giving up. And everything was getting even worse when grandpa’s came with his paranoid thinking. :$

So, right after leaving uncle’s house, I thought of how poor my mom was to have no joy in celebrating her day. I discussed with my sister, since actually we had planned setting her up for a nice dinner together just the 4 of us (mom, dad, me and my sis) and we decided to take her and Dad to Din Tai Fung, a chinese restaurant located in Mall of Indonesia, Kelapa Gading. My mom used to be a pennywise wife and mother. This restaurant must be quite pricey in her opinion. So, here was the scenario. My sis and I booked the table and ordered the food before our parents arrived in the restaurant. So that she didn’t have to see the menu with the price tag next to every dishes pictures and descriptions :p. It’s us, the daughters, who paid for the dinner 😀

But the point is not I want to overrated myself nor my sister for generously taking her to that restaurant. Yes it was quite pricey comparing to some other chinese restaurant we went to before. But the important thing was how to see mom and dad enjoy the dinner very much. They praised the food several times. They ate quite a lot and I can see they enjoyed the taste. And most of all, they’re happily smiling and thanking us for the dinner. And all of us went home gratefully for the day.

Just a lil bit flash back, I went to a “viewing ceremony” of the late Timo’s father last night. It was the priest who gave speech about what we, as the family, supposed to do to show our love to each other. It has to be done when the person’s still alive, because there’s no expression of love required anymore when somebody we love passed away.

So here we are, enjoying every single moment, giving our best for our beloved grand parents and parents. Just a simple expression of love, but I do really hope they feel our love, feel appreciated of so much love they’ve given since we were born, and most of all, feel the indescribable warmth in their heart, as what we feel deep inside our hearts when we see them smiling happily :). Time’s ticking, do whatever we can do before it’s too late 😉 

My 26th Birthday

Hello again,

Today I turned 26.. This is my first birthday without boyfriend after several years being in a relationship with someone. Before, I was kinda having pessimist thought of having a great birthday without him. In my imagination: Birthday, Saturday night .. supposed to spend with at least a crush if not a boyfriend.

To be honest, I was praying to spend this day with someone. But again, HIS plan is not mine and I believe that HIS is beyond of my most wilder wish. So, today.. I was busy replying those birthday wishes that comes from relatives and friends. I spent the whole day with my loving family. Greeted by warm wishes from mom, sis and dad this morning, we went out having lunch in Ikousha, the ramen restaurant just opened in Kelapa Gading few months ago. Everyone was happy today with that decent celebration. Then we went to the church for the evening service.

The most important thing I wanna share here is that having this birthday without someone special that usually related to boyfriend or crush was not that bad. Actually I was very happy and enjoy this day very much. All the prayers they gave me were the best gifts of all. I feel so blessed surrounded by those people and it’s like GOD Himself pouring me much more love through them. 🙂

So on this birthday, if before I was wishing and begging HIM badly to spend it with someone, I make up my mind and make another wish to GOD.

  1. Help me to have bigger FAITH in You, to believe that YOU love me endlessly and unconditionally, and YOU always have a bigger and nicer plan that I could never imagine. Bigger FAITH too so that I can surrender to YOU and worry less about everything happened, is happening and will happen in my life.
  2. Bless those who always love me unconditionally, Mom, Dad, Sis, and don’t forget my best friends. They’re the one who always there to support me even in my worst condition.

And… that’s it, Happy Birthday to me :D… Can’t wait for amazing days of being 26-years-old

A visit to an orphanage

On monday, Dec 26, 2011, I and my other 3 friends (stanley, yohana and vina) from VTO (Vina Tanudjaja Organization) made a visit to an orphanage located in Cipayung, East Jakarta. My first impression about this place was “they don’t need help”. That thought even got stronger when we met somebody in the office telling us that the orphanage is owned by the local government (social department) which absolutely should have regular financing from the government. But even though the tax department of this country campaigns a lot about why we should pay our taxes,  the woman we met here told us that mostly they rely on personal donation rather than regular financing from the government itself. They don’t even know where the money goes to. 😦

The orphanage we visited occupies around 70 children of  pre-elementary ages (under 5 years old). That woman (I guess she was one of the worker who take care of the children, paid by the government but not a government employee) showed us around. Sadly until the end of our visit, there’s no one who’s in charge in the office came yet! There are 3 big rooms in that building, the infants room (0-6 months), babies room (6 months – 1.5 years), and kids room (1.5 – 5 years). There are 2 special needs children taken care there, an autistic girl (3 years old) and mentally retarded boy (3 years old) which placed in the babies room. Of course they haven’t got any special treatment they need yet.

I was very lucky to have a chance of getting into the babies room. I always love babies and interact with them. There was a moment when I met a baby boy named Donny. He’s a cute baby boy, chubby, fair skinned and has a big dark eyes. I greeted him, touched him and there came a miraculous moment when he looked back at me, smiled, laughed with me and GRAB my hand as if he’s saying “Hi auntie.. Would you play with me?”. He touched me physically and heartedly as well. He made me forget my first impression I elaborated in the first paragraph of this writing. These kids absolutely need us in the matters of finance, groceries, and most of all, love and attention. Thank to the social worker of the orphanage who’s taking care of them with love and compassion.

After the visit, I wonder what came into their parents’ mind when leaving them in the hospital, in front of the orphanage or even worse in the trash bin (The woman told us there was a baby found crying because he was bitten by hundreds of ants in the trash). Yes they do have babies from mentally disordered or abusive parents which were acceptable excuses of leaving those children into government care. But what about poverty and irresponsible sex before marriage? These babies and children are innocent. They’re just being unlucky abandoned by the parents and our corrupt government.

So, we decided to help this orphanage in the form of:

  • Formulated Milk (Frisian Flag) for 0 – 5 years old children.
  • Medications
  • Biscuit and food for babies
  • Used clothes for 0-5 years old children
  • Diapers
  • Milk bottles
  • Mattress
  • Money (which can be transfered to Vina Tanudjaja’s BCA account #527 0906 500). We will convert the money into the products I mentioned above to ensure everything will go to the poor children.

If you would like to join us and contribute, should you contact:

  • Vina : 0818 082 67457 / BB pin: 20F5C69E
  • Pio: 0817 980 2766
  • Stanley: 082 111 079 779
  • Yohana: 0819 730 77 900

You can give your donation until January 27, 2012. The exact date of giving donation to the orphanage hasn’t decided yet but we planned it to be in the end of January 2012. Every donation will be noted and reported back to you. We will inform you when the charity event will be held if any of you want to visit the orphanage with us.