Somehow… This is still the same song I’d like to sing, just like last year’s Christmas. And the same you I’ve been wishing for…
Somehow… This is still the same song I’d like to sing, just like last year’s Christmas. And the same you I’ve been wishing for…
I know the 2 previous post was quite miserable. But yes I did have a hard time to let go everything without questioning why God did let too many good things happen before He took it away. As a very logical person, actually this experience of being broken hearted was quite unbelievable. Yet I am now starting to see things from the bright side and I’m thankful to have such person in my life, and for all the sweet memories we had. And most of all, there’s actually a lot more to be thankful for..
When I was down (trust me, how cool I seemed to be, I’m still a woman with a fragile heart :p), my bestfriends support be in all possible ways they could. They had their ears for my story, just to let me get my desperation out. They cheered me. Even there’s time, when I was kinda down, I was working in the clinic and my boss saw there was something wrong with me. Out of concentration, not as cheerful as usual, etc. He asked me over and over til I told him briefly what was in my mind at that time. And guess what, he put a loud speaker to his laptop, played some songs, sang for me expressively. I actually don’t cry easily in this kind of sad situation (separation, losing special persons). So at first I was just laughing seeing him singing like a rockstar. But then, there were just some songs that made me have to hold my tears until he played this song and reached the refrain, I just couldn’t hold longer and burst into tears..
Just unbelievable. I had my tear over my love life in front of my boss which happened to be my prof. Hahaha… but he got me some tissue paper and said that it was just OK to let things out, so then I would be able to let things go too. 🙂 and it really worked. The next day, I came to the clinic and my boss noticed that I was a lot better than the previous few days. hahaha.. Also, Winna came just to see if I was OK and dropped me 2 boxes of instant hot chocolate, thought that I might need that. And guess what? I actually don’t need the hot chocolate to make me feel better. The thought my friends had for me and the thought I have in my mind that I have some priceless friendships really help me passing through the valley of darkness (ok, that phrase sounds a bit too dramatic :p)
And today, I went out with my boss and another friend from the clinic. We went karaoke in a place just few block from our clinic. We sang until we lost our voice. Had some beer. Danced. etc. Some songs definitely did bring my mind back to January 2013. But having those guys around made things way easier.
So in conclusion, I might longing for someone to be always by my side as a partner. And yes, I kept praying to meet that special someone someday. But, for now.. I think I’m quite blessed with such wonderful busy life. I have the chance of having postgrad training, have some good friends at school, also outside the school, and I have an awesome working environment where I can enrich my knowledge as an orthodontist to be as well as having mental support whenever I need.
Oh yeah, another important date I should write on this blog. Last friday, on 14 June 2013, I saw my first formal orthodontic patient at school. A nice 13 y.o girl. And this week, I might see another 2 or 3 new patient. I haven’t started the treatment yet as I still have to analyze the data, x-rays, impressions, and photos to make the diagnosis and treatment plan (which I should discuss with my prof and get the approval to start the treatment). I have to say that I’m quite excited to start working in the university hospital 🙂
found this article online from http://worldobserveronline.com/2012/04/25/15-things-you-should-give-up-to-be-happy/
and i think this article is just great to be shared and kept in my personal blog 😉
so i just copied it 😉 Enjoy!
Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:
1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?
2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle
5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle
6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.
8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell
10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer
11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.
13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.
14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
I know when to stop and raise, and get my life back.
I miss you.. i need you..
and regardless how busy I am, how hectic my life is.. I just can’t stop thinking of you.. and even every single thing happens reminds me of you
I had never expected meeting you in my life, in a weirdest way a realist could think about. And I had never expected I could fall so easily and hardly let things between us go.
Never had this feeling before.. Thought that I’m strong enough, thought that I’m not that drama. But you just show me that I’m just an ordinary woman.. who can even cry because of a special one that came and changed me into someone that I don’t even really recognise. I’ve never felt this weak without a man before.
I’ve been quite emotional lately. And tonight, I feel quite like there’s an empty hole in my heart…
I really miss us…
have reminded me of how powerless I am..
There are always things beyond my control
no matter how hard I studied, sometimes the mark wasn’t as I expected
no matter how much I want my favorites to stay around me, they just don’t..
no matter how we try to protect our environment, flood and many extreme weather changes still happen (well, we can say that it’s kinda a bit too late though).
and.. no matter how good I have been with my friends (esp the ones in my circles), an overly excited joke can ruin the friendship. In this case, no matter how I apologize and try to fix it, the forgiveness is beyond my control as well.
Those disappointments, boredom, struggles, unanswered prayers, etc questioned me and almost stopped me of being me at my best. But I realized that they might be a reminder from our beloved Lord to keep the hope and faith while doing the best we can be. That the things which are beyond our control, should we leave them in HIS hands. and I’m trying to believe that when things are not as we expected, it’s because HE has better and more beautiful plan for us.
Miracle is believing that HE will turn the impossible ones to possible. 🙂
*this is me making a note to myself tonight.
do more, give more, forgive more
BUT.. expect less in return
Before I meet him..
Well, as I’ve mentioned in the previous post that I’ve been talking to someone, online, for almost a year now, I’m going to meet him in person tomorrow. I have to say this is the first face-to-face meeting I’ve ever had in my entire life, ever since I was acquainted to internet and online chatting many many years ago (dating back to age 12 i guess??!!).
When I was around that age, I was so into online chatting to improve my English skill. And I guess that was the very first time I knew this guy. Until one day in February 2012, his face appeared in my newsfeed in Facebook, and I was so curious so that I said hello to him. And here we are, becoming closer each day through thousands of Facebook chats, messages and emails.. and I think he’s actually the closest guy around by far. And I’m grateful for that.
But talking about meeting him for real, for the very first time, honestly is quite nerve-wracking. A blend of excitement and nervousness. Excited because I’m going to see the one who has been there virtually and made me smiling so much in real life. Yet I’m nervous thinking of whether or not I’ll be able to follow the conversation and response as well as how I’ve been used to do through texts. :S
Dear Lord, I need Your help…