These few days..

have reminded me of how powerless I am..

There are always things beyond my control

no matter how hard I studied, sometimes the mark wasn’t as I expected

no matter how much I want my favorites to stay around me, they just don’t..

no matter how we try to protect our environment, flood and many extreme weather changes still happen (well, we can say that it’s kinda a bit too late though).

and.. no matter how good I have been with my friends (esp the ones in my circles), an overly excited joke can ruin the friendship. In this case, no matter how I apologize and try to fix it, the forgiveness is beyond my control as well.

Those disappointments, boredom, struggles, unanswered prayers, etc questioned me and almost stopped me of being me at my best. But I realized that they might be a reminder from our beloved Lord to keep the hope and faith while doing the best we can be. That the things which are beyond our control, should we leave them in HIS hands. and I’m trying to believe that when things are not as we expected, it’s because HE has better and more beautiful plan for us.

Miracle is believing that HE will turn the impossible ones to possible. ­čÖé


*this is me making a note to myself tonight.

do more, give more,  forgive more

BUT.. expect less in return

Officially 12 hours..

Before I meet him..

Well, as I’ve mentioned in the previous post that I’ve been talking to someone, online, for almost a year now, I’m going to meet him in person tomorrow. I have to say this is the first face-to-face meeting I’ve ever had in my entire life, ever since I was acquainted to internet and online chatting many many years ago (dating back to age 12 i guess??!!).

When I was around that age, I was so into online chatting to improve my English skill. And I guess that was the very first time I knew this guy. Until one day in February 2012, his face appeared in my newsfeed in Facebook, and I was so curious so that I said hello to him. And here we are, becoming closer each day through thousands of Facebook chats, messages and emails.. and I think he’s actually the closest guy around by far. And I’m grateful for that.

But talking about meeting him for real, for the very first time, honestly is quite nerve-wracking. A blend of excitement and┬ánervousness. Excited because I’m going to see the one who has been there virtually and made me smiling so much in real life. Yet I’m nervous thinking of whether or not I’ll be able to follow the conversation and response as well as how I’ve been used to do through texts. :S

Dear Lord, I need Your help…


I found this posted as a status in my friend’s facebook wall. It’s in Bahasa Indonesia, but I tried to google translate it ;). Of course with some touch ups here and there :p (I can’t just copy-paste the translation without editing at all, can i? ) But as English is not my mother tongue so I have to apologize in advance that there are maybe some mistakes or weird phrases here and there :p


A wise in his blog saying, “Women are always returns more to the man.” If you give her a house, then she will give you warmth in your home. If you give her rice, she will return to you cooked one. If you LOVE her, she will give you a lifetime of devotion. But if you give her betrayal, she’ll give you a prayer in tears of pain, and that means prepare yourself For millions of misfortune! ”

If yesterday you pray and you believe that she was the ribs, then accept her not as the perfect woman, but as the best woman.

God’s best is not she who never made a mistake, but who is always saying sorry for any mistakes and that she had a million forgiveness for your mistakes. She accepts your past and is ready to design her future with you. She is always anxious and lost her mind when you do not contact her.

She can give a positive impact in your life. She reminds you of the Lord. She invited you to be thankful even in hard times. She never forgets to mention you in her prayer. She would teach the purpose of life and life priorities.

If the spoiled nature made you laugh, if the jealousy meant love for you, if her tear was ┬áheart wrenching for you, then, if now all of those things become the reason of letting her go, then take a moment to think. Because of this statement may be true! “Actually it’s not ┬áspoiled nature, jealousy, or other vices that cause you dare to let her go, but now that you allow someone else to be the listener of your problem with her.” It is the betrayal that never realized by a man!