Gonna be married or unmarried?
I had a short chit chat with my friend yesterday about confusion of taking a big step to a new life we called marriage. Quite a huge issue right? She said that there’ll come a time to decide whether we’re going to choose someone to live it (a.k.a getting married in my terms) or just enjoy our life by our own (a.k.a staying single). And my friend has decided that she NEEDS someone else to share life with.
How about me?
Well, I can’t say that my life as a single (not-married-yet) is not enjoyable at all. But I always think that a spouse will make things even better. Surrounded by friends are fun. But ofcourse you can’t count them to be with you all the way round through out your life, right? They’ll have their own family, their own business. And for that reason, being single for the rest of my life is a real bad idea for me. It’s even worse when we consider the aging process.
So, I definitely want to get married. It’s necessary for me. No matter how hard a marriage life will be, I believe it won’t be as bad as being alone in this world. No matter how you’ll argue with your husband/wife, I believe you can somehow solve it together and that’s definitely better than have no one to talk to when the day ends.
OK, and how about the marital age? Is there any limitation?
There’s actually NO maximum age to get married for sure, love can come to you at any age, right? But our culture creates those limitations. And it influenced my opinion about maximum age to get married. For myself, I really wish I could get married in the age of 26-27, or at least before 30. And in my humble opinion, that’s the most reasonable age of getting married too, for both man and woman. OK OK, this age limitation will be expand for man until 35 then. Why?
First of all, this is based on female biological reason. As we know, the older the woman is, the worse the quality of the egg is. And somehow I also believe that sperms quality is affected by age too although the aging process might be slower in man.
Secondly, psychological reason. When you’re above 30 and you aren’t with anybody, most people will ask you why. Are you just being too picky? Or there’s something really wrong with you so you’re unwanted? And for this psychological reason, the older you are, the more difficult for you to find someone who’ll match your criteria. So what happen next is you have to downgrade your criteria, not because you want it but because you have to (coz some people will judge you negatively right away)!! Wew.. ironic isn’t it?
Third reason is another psychological reason, but I’m not going to talk about things related to culture. This is really my personal opinion about those 2 people, about the couple themselves. When we haven’t reach the age of 30, there might be an immature side in both man and woman. This immaturity, along with egos, might bring you trouble. YES. But have you ever feel that when you really love somebody, every fight, every tear is worth for? The emotion that we feel after arguing, problem solved and we’re getting back together brings us the warmth that I can’t even describe how beautiful it is. It’s like you’re having your precious back after it missed for a long time. No butterfly at all, like you had when you’re first in love with that person of course, but the warmth leads you to an even deeper and deeper compassion with your spouse. I personally will take them as the spices of the love life!
Fourth reason, this is related with the immaturity I talked about before. When you still have your child or teen like personality, you can enjoy more fun moment with your spouse! Just like children. You still can explore the world together, go to the amusement park without shame, having adventurous trip together, all fun things you can imagine about! I’m not saying that these things can’t be done when you’re over 30. But the older you are, there’ll be greater responsibility, shame, obligation to have a good image in front of parents, friends, colleagues, and so on. And these will definitely restrict you to do wild things, won’t them? Another spices baby…. 😀
Well, this is just my humble personal opinion that is RIGHT for me and just for me. Of course, from deep inside my heart, I’m longing for someone out there has the same thought as I do, and willing to be the one to share my life with and vice versa.